Phyllis and Ellie....We Will Miss You.....And We Love You!

Well, it is really happening.....Phyllis and Ellie leave for London tomorrow.....Sunday, January 9th. I would be excited if it were another "vacation" to London for the two of them, but it's not....they are moving to London, and Phyllis is leaving her family, her friends, and all things familiar to her behind. Phyllis and Ellie are legally married in the state of California....we flew down with them after a "commitment" ceremony here at our home, and had it all made legal in October 2008.....just weeks before the original Prop 8 was passed, and marriage between LGBT couples in California was no longer allowed...then there was that brief overturning of Prop 8 this past year, which again...the so called "conservative right" fought, and it will eventually end up in the Supreme Court....Phyllis and Ellie got to keep their marital status...they are one of 18,000 LGBT couples who were married before Prop 8 happened, and so they are still legally married in the state of California....But, that does not change Ellie's Visa status....our country's federal immigration laws do not recognize their marriage....so Ellie, who is originally from London has to return home, and Phyllis is forced to choose between her partner and her country. The country that claims equality and freedom for all....but that just is not the case. Ellie has been staying in the country on a student Visa and Phyllis has been paying for her to go to school here so she could remain in the country....Ellie already has a degree from a university in London...so basically they have been "buying" time....which is very expensive....but the real issue is not even the money....it is the fact that they are not treated as equals in this country. If Ellie were a man from London married to our daughter Phyllis....."HE" would already be a citizen of the US....the discrimination involving LGBT couples is just so overwhelming in every aspect. Where I mentioned the "conservative right" above....is it not "Christian like" to be non judgmental, and love thy neighbor, Black, White, Jewish, Baptist, Buddhist, Hispanic, Asian, Gay or Straight????? I say "Christian like" as that is what so many people who are anti gay claim to be...."good Christians" but how can you call yourself either when you are unaccepting of LGBT people???? There is a bill called the UAFA Bill...it did not reach the house this past year....but I am going to work to do everything I can to see it someday passed. It is the "Uniting American Familes Act"....there are approximately 36,000 bi-national couples in the US at this time facing the same decisions that our daughter and her partner are dealing with now. If the UAFA bill were to pass, our daughter could make the choice of staying here in her country, or choosing to go to London, rather than moving to London with the feeling of being exiled. Wes and I are beyond sad....we are a close family....if you have ever looked at our blog in the past, or if you know me personally.....you know that we do everything together as a family....we take trips together, we celebrate holidays together, we get together just for the fun of it....because we all love each other so much and have wonderful times together. For anyone who is reading this....if you are a parent....or in Liz's case, an extremely close sister to Phyllis....and you were losing your daughter or your son, or your brother or your sister because of the discrimination against LGBT couples here in the United States....not only would you be heartbroken, as we are.....but you would be angry as well.....Discrimination is alive and thriving in our country....it is time for change...."My" God does not judge....people do....If you are a decent human being...you would listen to your heart....you know what is right, and you would join me, and say the discrimination has to end now. Phyllis and Ellie, we love you and support you always. You are our daughter and daughter-in-law, and we are so proud of both of you. One day, change will come, and you can come home again....in the meantime, know that even though you will be missed every single day....we know that you are in a country that gives you equal rights...that you can have children together and both be on the birth certificate...that you can check "married" or "civil union" on a legal form...things that so many people tend to take for granted....yet LGBT couples are not granted these same simple rights. I am sorry that your mother went off.....I am sorry for anyone who reads this and disagrees with me...not sorry that I wrote it....sorry that you would be so closed minded as to disagree with reality. Hugs and kisses and love forever to you both Phyllis and Ellie.....I wish you only the best in your new adventure....and thanks for letting your mom vent....and also have a good cry! I love you. MOM